I am often asked what is the single biggest reason why leaders fail?
It could be a lot of reasons. Not playing well in the sand box, having difficulty leading change, wrong strategy come to mind.
Based on the work I do with leaders, the single biggest reason I have noticed is the leader’s poor interpersonal relationships with their stakeholders: employees, customers, strategic partners and their Boards. They have little or no personal connection with anyone. Their relationships are built on being smart and rational. Don’t get me wrong! Being highly intelligent and smart is vital in today’s business climate. But being a great leader is not just a function of intelligence, but also connecting with people on a emotional and personal level.
Think of the last time you made a major investment decision? A new car, home, new gizmo. I can assure you that the majority of you made that decision emotionally first, rationally second. Studies by the 2002 Nobel Prize winner, Daniel Kahneman of Princeton proves this out. Why then are we not connecting emotionally with our stakeholders? Well, for a lot of reasons. It has to do with the beliefs we hold near and dear to our hearts. If you believe emotions have no place at work or displaying emotions is not professional, or dealing with emotions is too touchy-feely and too time consuming to deal with; then your actions will speak for themselves. If you believe the opposite, that emotions are important to surface and acknowledge, pay attention to and positively deal with; then your actions will be very different.
What we want in our leaders today is for them to express emotion, show their feelings both good and bad. People want human connection and it is vital for the leaders to show their feelings. It is OK for leaders to be vulnerable. You see, leaders most important attribute is not their looks, charm, intelligence, degrees, experience, but it is their emotional capital, their ability to connect with others.
So what do leaders need to do to connect with others:
1. Examine your beliefs. Where are you on the curve of emotional capital? Take an assessment, change your thinking and act differently. Be consistent and tell your team this is what your working on and that you need their help.
2. Ask your customers, employees, Board want they want and value in you as a leader. I will assure you, human connection and relationships will be on the top of the list.
3. If you need help, hire an executive coach to help you.
Building high performing, profitable relationships with our stakeholders takes time and effort. Becoming a transparent leader also includes sharing and showing your emotions and positively using them to connect with others.
What do your emotions and leadership style have in common?